I'm driving in the car, normal morning, normal because we are late to my kick boxing class and from the back seat I hear, "I'm so 3008, you're so 2000 and late!" from Rafael. I do a spit take with my coffee. My daughter sings the Black Eyed Peas better than "Old MacDonald".

Then I started thinking. Do the lyrics to "Boom Boom Pow" make any more or less sense than half of the kid music lyrics she has been listening to for almost four years? "Hey Diddle Diddle... the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon". Smoke another bowl, composer boy. What in the hell does that mean?

Do we really need a song where a blackbird pecks off a girl's nose? What Poe-esque place was that guy in when he wrote that? Bad break up with the wash girl, buddy?

And don't tell me that "Knick Knack Paddy Whack" is not about a pedophile, because it is. If your kid came home saying, "Hey mom! This old man, he played knick knack on my knee!" your next move would be to call the cops and you know it. Yeah, I'll give your dog a bone Mother F#%^^, get the hell away from my child!

I can't imagine how any child falls asleep to "Rockabye Baby". A child, safe in your arms and snuggly, hears, "When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all!" Well.... good luck, son. Perhaps you can use your blankey as a parachute. And we wonder why kids hate storms.

Yep, I'll take Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas any day. I'd rather my child have swagga than a complex.