I was playing with the kids at MyGym open gym yesterday (sans alien drag queen) and "Come On Eileen" came over the sound system. Suddenly, a memory popped in my head of freshman year, dancing in a circle with my friends in Randy Reinhart's basement (my first basement party) and then, back in the present, I looked at my own kids, and I welled up. I WELLED UP!!?? Desperate not to get caught by other moms, I quickly bit my inner cheek and grabbed a loose ball.

What is up with the welling up?

I wish this was a one time occurrence, but it happens all the time now. I must preface all this by stating that I am a guy's girl; I rarely cry. I never cry during the Red Dragon's monthly visits, or reading schmutlzy Hallmark cards, or even during RomComs. I think the only movie I wanted to cry at was Armageddon but that was because the writing was so bad.

So I ask myself, "What's with the waterworks, pussy?"

I have been conducting a personal experiment and have made this discovery: the welling up seems to occur during commercials of products I will never buy or use and when I hear certain songs of my past. Sometimes it is a double whammy. Case in point, when "I Stopped the World and Melt With You" became the jingle for Ritz crackers, it was as if my cat died. When I got misty during a tire commercial (after all, the tires were so reliable) I started to see the pattern. Like the Grinch, pregnancy has made my heart enlarge; my ass too, but that's another blog. I am now a cliché. I empathize with the fake families on the commercials who find the perfect tire, or toilet paper or evening dinner solution because I hope that I will do the same for my family. What a pussy. But the songs? Not sure. Is it the full circleness of it all? Or the realization that I'm getting old. I would like to think the same thing will happen to my daughters when, in their twilight years, they sit on the couch and Britney Spears' "Oops, I Did It Again" is the cute, comic jingle for Depends. Come on, it can't be any worse than watching a woman plug a sinking canoe with a tampon, can it?